


The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

by starprise_entership



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode tag: ‘By Inferno’s Light’, Garak Centric, M/M, anxiety dump, pretty heavy emotional stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 16:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13298892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starprise_entership/pseuds/starprise_entership
Summary: Elim Garak is not afraid of what lurks in the shadows, but in that cramped little passageway, he could as well be afraid of the shadows themselves.





	The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Elim Garak is not scared of the things that lurk in the shadows.

Instead, the overbearing shadow of the chamber bears down on him, turning the air into a sickly ink, metaphorically suffocating - no, physically suffocating him as his hands futilely scramble at the panel.

 _How long has it been?_ Ten minutes, fifteen creep by as he counts the seconds as they slowly creep by, drip by drip. Each shallow breath corresponds with the passage of each second as his eyes stare unblinkingly at the only light source in the narrow passage, a tiny lamp. One breath. Two. These seconds pass excruciatingly slowly as Garak presses against the wall.

Immediately he jerks away from the wall upon touching it, as if it was a hot iron plate and not a cold, merciless concrete wall. Clenching his fists, he tells himself to stop using his imagination - don’t imagine the walls moving in! _Don’t imagine the walls moving in!_

 _Father._ Garak mouths, silently. _If only you were here instead of me._ His body tenses even further when he thinks back to Tain’s last moments, and the one truth he wanted to hear. His mind goes back even further, back to his training days, and then back to when he was just a young boy, and Tain was just _a family friend -_

 _He’d shut me in the closet as a young boy,_ Garak recalls, and immediately the anxiety sets in again, clamping and twisting like a vice. He’s as stiff as a statue now, and his breathing, while quick, is shallow to the point of almost nothing. His heart pounds loudly in his ears like the great resonate boom of a bass drum as it speeds up like in the finale of a grand symphony - a form of music Julian had introduced him to - _Oh, Julian. Your life and the lives of the others, you’re all depending on me to finish this task._

_Well, it looks like the Cardassian who panicked in the face of danger is going to ruin General Martok’s song after all._

It seems like almost an eternity when the panel to the hellish dungeon is removed. The dim light that shines from outside is still sickly, but it’s definitely a step up from the tiny, cramped passageway. Mesmerised, he stares at the opening, but he’s still too much in shock to make the next move.

Everything next happens in bits and pieces, a phenomenon that should not be common for a Cardassian memory such as Garak’s. In his next moment of awareness, his big, blue eyes meet Julian’s warm, brown ones, and although the surroundings are dark and obscuring, Garak detects a hint of concern, a hint of hurt in Julian’s eyes.

A hand, placed so lightly on his forearm it must be lingering, just barely floating above his skin, the two surfaces not in contact. Pressure increases slightly. And then he starts to shuffle. Inch by inch, he makes progress.

It’s hazy, but then he hears himself remark how unpleasant the experience is, and then his pulse is taken. As the anxiety subsides, he’s a bit more clear-minded, and all the more determined to try again. But then he sees the gentle look of concern on Julian’s face. He is so close from softening, from giving in. The air out here feels just a bit more relieving, and nothing would be better than taking a break until the next day. Nothing would be better than accepting a warm, extended hug from his friend, or spending the night with him at arm’s length ( _literally, Garak had thought about that for some time_ ), but this is not the time for fantasies.

Garak turns towards the panel again and takes a deep breath, readying himself for another trip into the dungeon.


End file.
